1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
