i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
