in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
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