In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize
