So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
