so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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