Just mADE A PArabola og urine
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story