I wanna bring you to show and tell
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
These 19 People Had Awkward Celebrity Sex Dreams
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
These 27 People Had No Idea What They Were Doing When It Came To Sex
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.