i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?