I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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