i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
