East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
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