So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Four minutes until I can fart!
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
