I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Randomize
