my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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