I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
you will always have a special place in my vag
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
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