Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
She's the barista slut.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
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