I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
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