i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
