I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
