shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Randomize