I just cut my nipple shaving
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
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