my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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