are you still at the devil's house?
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Randomize
