I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
