First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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