After last night, I could never be a politician.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
