Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
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