no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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