i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
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