well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Randomize
