I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
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