i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Randomize
