everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
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