Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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