i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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