Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
