i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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