and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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