Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
