she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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