you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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