4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Randomize
