I bet he comes in French.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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