So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
