Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
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