Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Randomize
