If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
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