So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
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He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
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He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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