Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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