I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
