i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Your cock deserves a montage
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
