why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I can't put those talents on a resume
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
