he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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