And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
