Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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