she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Randomize
