on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
