Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
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