Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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