i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
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