Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
