Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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