Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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